I forced myself out of bed and went to the Royal Wedding today. I got there about 9 I think, but it was already pretty packed. I was walking past the London Eye and saw all the Japanese and French reporters setting up their stands. They were probably famous back at home because they were all dressed up with people powdering their nose, but I didn't recognise them. Past all the people selling flags for 5 pound a pop, and the stalls selling funny hats and tea cups. People were buying them too, snapping up the mugs to toast the bride and groom. They had shut Westminster Bridge down so we marched down the middle of the road. For a minute I thought I was going to be able to get close to the Abbey but it got jam packed like Sardines under the shadow of Big Ben and the cops weren't letting anyone else through. So went down Whitehall instead and sneaked into Trafalgar Square before they closed that too.
It was packed shoulder to shoulder, you literally couldn't move. Once I was in I couldn't get out, had to stand up till 12 o'clock leaning on people 2 inches from my face. I got a spot between the Pimms tent and the fountain which was nice with a little bit of spray hitting my face (from the fountain, not the beer tent). They had a couple of big screens up like the World Cup and everyone was umming and arring when the royals got out their cars. There's Prince Charles... ooooh! There's Harry and William too. The Queen got the biggest cheer, and all the five pound flags came out. Everyone's a patriot for the day. Then all the women started crying when they got a glimpse of Kate's dress. She looked quite pretty, I must admit. William has done alright, considering he's going bald. Probably a bit out of his league, I thought.
Everyone stood there like statues for an hour watching the service because they couldn't move. Everyone was singing too and laughed when Elton John came on the telly for the tenth time. Big ooohs when people caught sight of Pippa Middleton holding Harry's arm. One lady thought they'd make a nice couple. Then they let a load of confetti go in Trafalgar Square. Then the procession wheeled around Whitehall and down the Mall and everyone made their move for a better view.
I tried to get down the Mall but jesus christ you would have to be super skinny to get down there. People were wedged together so you couldn't even get a butter knife between them. I reckon the heat was fusing a few together so they would have to go home as siamese twins. In the end I escaped into St. James's Park and went round the other side of the lake down Birdcage walk. It was pretty empty and I managed to get right down to Buckingham Palace and the leftside of the roundabout. Perfect view of the balcony and I even saw them coming out. They were only about 2 inches tall, mind you, but William still had his red kit on so I knew who he was. And the bird he was kissing must be Kate, I guessed, unless he was planting one on Camilla. The small bird in yellow with a big hat on was the Queen, I guessed. And the military man dressed up with more medals than the Duke of Wellington must be Charles. Then the World War II planes came over. Then some supersonic tornados came and disappeared in about half a nanosecond. Then the royals decided it was getting a bit chilly and went in. William and Kate hung around for a while longer and waved another hundred times and disappeared too. And everyone went aaaah and everyone went ooooh and women wiped away tears and the men said come on love, let's go home.
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What a good view you had of the kiss. Did you see it? I watched them on the telly and I thought the kiss was over far too quickly, it was more like a peck on the cheek which lasted for half a second. I would have liked him to take her in his arms and give her a good old smooch
From the author: “The good thing about this book is that I have genuinely been to all of these places myself. And I don’t just regurgitate the same old spiel that you find in 95% of guidebooks. It’s not the kind of book where I just tell you the address, how much it costs, and leave it at that. I have explored every single one of these attractions myself. You’ll find info about opening times, prices, the recommended time required at each attraction, example itineraries, a guide to using the buses and trains… and plenty more.”