Postman's Park review
This is a lunch break place -- people come here for a quick cigarette (bad for you) or a cardboard cup of coffee (also bad for you). They spread out on the benches and fiddle with their phones for twenty minutes until it's time to go back to work. That is what modern life is like: when we're at work we press buttons on our computer, and when we're on a tea-break we press buttons on our phones. And then we go home and press buttons on the telly. Buttons, buttons, buttons. I wonder if it's possible to pass an entire day without pressing a single button? Probably not.
I can't decide whether this place is nice and peaceful or dark and depressing. They've got a little pond with a few fish in it (surprisingly big fish for such a little pond), a few pigeons, a few squirrels, no postmen... and a cemetery without any graves.
That's what you've come here to see: the ceramic plaques on the back wall. It looks like a wooden veranda with an inscription along the top which reads: "In commemoration of heroic self sacrifice". If you're in a good mood then you might want to skip this bit because there's nothing happy on the plaques. They remember the deaths of 53 brave souls who woke up in the morning and died before bedtime, trying to save a stranger from the Grim Reaper. If you enjoy reading about people burning to death, getting blown up, getting knocked down by a train, or drowning in an icy cold lake, then this is the place for you.
Here's a little taste of the terror: George Funnell died in a pub fire trying to drag the barmaid out; Mrs Yarman burned to death on a flaming staircase whilst trying to save her bedridden mother; Mary Rogers got swallowed up in the water after handing her lifebelt to a screaming kid; Fred Croft saved a suicidal guy from jumping in front of a train only to get squashed in the follow-up, and Sarah Smith somehow managed to burn to death whilst wearing an inflammable dress (I hope she got a refund).
The owners obviously got bored of erecting the plaques after a while because half of the 120 spaces remain empty -- so either they ran out of money or they ran out of heroes.
I’ve been here before…
|Events in June|
|Events in July|
|Events in August|