Princess Diana Memorial Fountain review (Jun 2016)
This is an old review Read my most recent review here
Some people believe she was stuck in a loveless marriage, shunned by the Royal Family and hounded by a relentless press... while other people think she was a bit of a fruitcake. I couldn't possibly comment (well, okay... I thought she was a fruitcake as well). But there is one thing that I am definitely sure about: she didn't deserve to be lumbered with a memorial as poor as this. But that's what happens when you annoy the Queen: you end up with a concrete river as your tombstone. Most of the royals get a six-foot statue in the street or a polished plaque in Westminster Abbey -- Diana got a concrete water drain in Hyde Park fifty feet from the cafe toilets. Even I deserve a monument better than this, and I'm a total loser.
If the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain was just supposed to be a normal fountain, built as a garden ornament or a work of art, then okay -- fair enough. But it's supposed to be a memorial to Princess Di. It doesn't make you think of her, though, or remember her, so as a memorial it's a total fail. If it wasn't for a picture of her face by the gate then you wouldn't even know what it was -- you'd just think it was something they'd put up for the kids.
Let me explain to you exactly what it is... so you can fully appreciate how rubbish it is. It's basically just a big circle of stone on a flat field, like a half pipe in the grass. The water is pumped out from the top and burbles and gurgles it's way over the ruts and gullies to the drain, whilst pushchair mums sit on the side and paddle their feet, dads kick giant inflatable footballs about, and excited kids run around like they're competing for last place in the Olympics. On a sunny holiday it's not unlike a child riot. It's about as peaceful as the final five minutes of Armageddon. Thank God they didn't bury Princess Diana in the middle because she'd never get any peace.
I think they should demolish the whole thing and build a fountain in the middle of the Round Pond instead. At least then it would actually have something to do with her -- because it would be visible from Kensington Palace, where she lived.
Guest – Who are you to call anyone a fruitcake? Biggest fruitcake of the lot!
Admin – I'm in the Top 10 fruitcakes, definitely... maybe the Top 5 on a good day
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