Primrose Hill review
The first time you clap eyes on Primrose Hill you'll kid yourself into thinking it's an easy climb. From the ground it's not much taller than the treetops. You can even see a lamppost higher than the summit of this thing. But trust me: once you start climbing you'll wish they had a cable car, because this hill is a lot steeper than it looks! (Or maybe I'm just very unfit?) It's the kind of hill that makes you bend over and rest your palms against your knees. You'll decide to turn around and look at the view halfway up, just so you can have a couple of minutes rest. Then you'll sit down and re-tie your already tight shoes. Ten minutes later you'll finally clamber over the top and thank Christ Almighty that a bench is empty.
They don't have very many benches up here, and no ice cream van either -- but at this moment in time I don't care. I'm too tired to write. I'm just going to pass out for five minutes, if you don't mind, and then I'll tell you what the view is like afterwards, because I'm knackered...
...okay. Let's have a game of I-Spy. I'll shout out some landmarks and you have to find them. If you can't spot The Shard then you need to buy some new glasses, so we'll skip that one. The London Eye and St. Paul's are extremely easy as well, so there are no points for those. But how about the Gherkin and Canary Wharf? The Houses of Parliament are quite hard, and Westminster Cathedral will really test you (and I do mean the cathedral, and not the abbey!). If you really want to show off then you can try and find the ArcelorMittal Orbit, because that's too new to appear on their plaque (you'll have to be fairly knowledgable to even know what that is).
After you've seen the buildings you can turn your attention to the tourists. You can see every kind of visitor up here: people in running shoes and women in high heels. People with stopwatches and people with giant tripods and ten tonne cameras in tow. One guy has just chucked his frisbee off the summit and the wind has lifted it fifty feet in the air, and dumped it halfway down the hill. It's very popular with joggers and dogs as well. Some crazy cyclists even try and bike their way to the top. I'm standing next to a bloke who has dressed himself up like Edmund Hillary, complete with mountain shoes and a ski pole. He's staring out from the summit like he's conquered the top of the world. Er... you're only ten minutes from Camden, mate.
I’ve been here before…
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