Hayward Gallery review
The Hayward Gallery doesn't have a permanent art collection. What they do is devote the entire space to a single theme, or a single artist, and then swap it over for something else every few months. So whatever exhibition I describe to you now will have disappeared by the time that you arrive. But seeing as they only ever show stuff by contemporary artists whatever you see is probably going to be just as rubbish (I hate modern art!).
Let me describe the current exhibition to you now, so you can understand what I mean. This will give you a good idea about the quality of the 'artwork' inside the Hayward Gallery.
Can you remember that scene in Die Hard, when Bruce Willis was crawling through a ventilation shaft on his knees and elbows? Well the first piece I saw was exactly same as that -- except that we were playing the role of Bruce Willis, and we could walk through it instead of crawl. It sounds totally daft but it's true -- the first piece was just me walking through a big metal tube. Apparently that is what passes for art in the 21st century. It was more like something you'd find at a funfair.
The other installations were so dumb that they defy parody. Try and imagine three gigantic poles revolving around like a washing line, with big red and white toadstools on top. That was artwork number two.
Then they had that old chestnut that has been done a million times before: TV screens containing close-up views of peoples' faces. Then we had some flashing TV screens with more faces on them. Plus a room full of bemused people wondering why on earth they paid fifteen quid for a ticket (except that bit wasn't art -- that was reality).
It was like a sixth-form art show by C-grade students.
Every time somebody hands over fifteen quid at the front door I can imagine the bosses laughing their heads off out the back -- ha ha ha, another punter fleeced!
But as I said... the exhibitions only hang around for a little while, so maybe you'll have better luck than me.
What do you think?Please leave a comment